Giving Interviews to the SEED Cast
by VengefulMoon
Summary: The simplest things in the world can come from interviews like these. Such as chaos and seriousness mixed into one. [Rated T] In the latest edition, I talk with Murrue and Mu La Flaga [that's right, they're married].
1. Stupid Morons 101: Number 1 in stupidity

**Shall we enter Stupid-ville for the first time?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's note: This will most likely be a series of weird interviews with stupidity as the main focus.**

**Legend:**

**- Blah, blah, blah - - Announcer.**

**(BLEEP) – Censored.**

**'Blah, blah, blah' – Thoughts.**

**(Blah, blah, blah) – Actions. **

Interviewed and Kicked at the…BLEEP!

- No. 1 guest is…Kira Yamato. -

VM: Hello, Kira.

Kira: Hi, there.

VM: This would be your first time in an interview, correct?

Kira: Yep.

VM: And this would be the first time that you would be acting like a dumb (BLEEP), correct?

Kira: Yep-WAIT A SECOND! DID YOU SAY DUMB (BLEEP)? I'M NO (BLEEP)-ING DUMB (BLEEP)!

VM: Yep, I said dumb (BLEEP).

Kira: THAT'S IT! I'M (BLEEP)-ING OUT OF HERE!

(Kira leaves the interview room.)

VM: Well, that was just stupid.

- No. 2 guest is…Miss Lacus Clyne. -

VM: Hello, songstress.

Lacus: Hi.

VM: First time interview, correct?

Lacus: Well, not really, this would be the 1000th one that I had in the past 2 years.

VM: If that's the case, then would that mean you'll be a smart (BLEEP)?

Lacus: Potty mouth! My ears!

(Lacus runs around screaming.)

VM: AUGH! SOMEONE GET HER (BLEEP) OUT OF HERE!

(Script writers toss the songstress out of the window.)

VM: Uh…that will be all for today, folks! See you on the next interview!

(Cameras stop rolling.)

VM: CUT! CUT! CUT!

- We're already off the air. –

VM: NO, I MEAN I GOT A CUT ON MY FACE!

(Everyone in the studio feels sweat dropping down their faces from VM's stupidity.)


	2. Stupid Morons 101: Mock 2 in madness!

**Stupid-ville part two begins here.**

**See chapter 1 for legend and disclaimer.**

VM: And we are back with Stupid Morons 101!

- I thought this show had no name? –

VM: WELL, YOU'RE WRONG, (BLEEP) HEAD!

- Vengeful Moon, you've become an insane person. –

VM: Anyway, here's guest number three!

(Athrun walks in onto the stage.)

Athrun: Hey, there.

VM: Hello. This would be your possibly 350th interview. Am I right?

Athrun: You're on the mark.

VM: And would you be acting like you were in "Bizarre-o Land"?

Athrun: "Bizarre-o Land"? No way. I'd be acting like a stupid moron.

(A/N: Guess where the (1.) came from. If you get it right, I'll dedicate the next chapter of this to you.)

VM: Then show us something stupid that you did.

(1.) (Athrun shows a tape of himself on a monkey swing. The image of himself starts acting like he's on top of the world, then the next thing you know, he hits his head on the ground. Not once…but twice. The entire audience laughed their heads off.)

VM: ZAFT, meet Bizarre-o Athrun.

ZAFT male soldier: Wow, I never knew that the captain of the Zala Team was such a nitwit.

ZAFT female soldier: Hey, Athrun! You're so dumb that a monkey can outsmart you!

(Athrun runs off the stage in embarrassment.)

VM: Stupid morons. What can you do without them?

(The audience laughs.)

**The Cagalli interview will be in the next chapter. For now, R&R!**


	3. Revised and reuploaded: A serious talk

**This interview's script has been revised and will now be considered something else.**

VM: Welcome back to the show.

- Introducing the newest guest of the show, Miss Cagalli Yula Athha. -

(Right on cue, Cagalli walks onto the stage.)

Cagalli: Hello, Vengeful Moon.

VM: Hey, there, Cagalli. So, how's life for you?

Cagalli: Horrible if you consider having to manage a crap load of files all in one day.

VM: That probably screwed you over, then. So what do you have from your private life?

Cagalli: I'm still in love with Athrun, even though he could be such a dolt sometimes.

VM: That's lasted for...um, how long, four years now?

Cagalli: Yep.

VM: But what happened to old Yuna Roma Seiran?

Cagalli: I killed him and left his ashes inside a ready to self-destruct GOUF.

(The audience groans.)

VM: You really do have nasty ways to deal with the ones you hate.

Cagalli: That's just me, your average everyday ORB representative.

VM: Well, that'll be it for our show. Thanks for stopping by, Cagalli.

Cagalli: You're welcome. See you all later!

**Hey, at least I made it serious. The next chapter will be the Rey and Luna interview so click that drop down button and click on the 4th chapter on the list. Oh, and don't forget to leave a review. :)**


	4. Something smart for a change

**That last one probably sucked hard, I'm sure. To make up for it here's the Rey Za Burrel and Lunamaria Hawke interview. Don't worry about any pervert stuff. This would (most likely) end up a serious portion of the story.**

VM: That was a stupid mishap.

- You bet, jack-(BLEEP). –

VM: Shut it. Anyway, here are the fifth and sixth guests.

(Lunamaria and Rey walk onto the stage.)

VM: Hello there.

Luna and Rey: (at the same time) Hey. How's it going?

VM: Nothing much.

Luna: This would mark the 1,000,000th interview that we've had.

VM: You have to be kidding me.

Rey: She's right. It's our millionth interview to date.

(The audience gasps.)

VM: Okay, now I'm just plain shocked.

Rey: Anyway, do you have any questions for us?

VM: What's the story on your private life?

Luna: Nothing much, just sending each other fluffy stuff here and there.

VM: But what's this rumor that I keep overhearing about you two getting married later this year?

Rey: It's true. The wedding is to take place at the PLANTs next week.

(The audience gasps again.)

VM: Looks like everything that I've been hearing as rumors is coming true one by one. Weird; I must be having seizures or something.

Rey: You're not having any.

Luna: He's right; if you were, you'd be twitching right now.

VM: …Then I must be a stupid moron.

(The audience, along with Luna and Rey, laughs.)

VM: That'll be it for our show tonight, thank you for taking the time to stop by, Lunamaria, Rey!

Luna and Rey: You're welcome. See you all at the next show!

**Woot, I finally wrote something serious for a change. Stay tuned for the Shinn and Stellar Asuka interview (yes, they're married, don't ask), the upcoming Gilbert and Talia Durandal interview (again, they're married, don't ask), the Rau Le Creuset interview and many more. There's more to come so stick around!**


	5. The Interview of Death, or maybe not

**As requested by Tear Shield Alchemist I'm doing a chapter for Muruta Azreal.**

VM: We are now in the Dominion, the home of its captain, Natarle Badgiruel, and the psychotic who owns nuclear weapons as hood ornaments, Muruta Azreal. I'm in the room of the latter at the moment.

Azreal: Hello, jack-(bleep) that killed me in a laser blast.

(Don't ask about that; private stuff.)

VM: Whose fault would that be?

Azreal: Uh…my fault?

(The audience at the studio groans.)

VM: Then stuff a nuclear missile into your throat and let it blow up.

Azreal: No thanks.

VM: Anyway, what's in on your private life?

Azreal: Nukes, nukes and more nukes. That's what. Nuclear weapons are raw power in this world.

Audience: Azreal, you suck!

Azreal: Who's going to stop me?

VM: Can I answer that question?

(Vengeful Moon slams Azreal into the table.)

(Azreal loses consciousness.)

VM: Uh… I think that will be all for this one on one interview. See you at Badgiruel's room for the second one on one special.

**Ouch, that was short…anyway, as I said I'll be doing the Natarle Badgiruel one on one interview next. See you there.**


	6. The Interview of Death FR or For Real

**Well, this is it…we now have the REAL interview of death, so basically my plan got switched around. TSA just dared me to write this interview between Azreal, Badgiruel and me. This is going to suck.**

VM: This is the one thing that I'd like to call…the "Interview of Death". Bring the guests in, please.

(Natarle and Azreal walk onto the stage.)

VM: Hello, psychos.

Natarle and Azreal: Hello, Vengeful Moon. How are you today?

VM: Sick and retarded because you dopes are around.

Natarle: Azreal's the one who's sick and retarded.

Azreal: Am not!

VM: Whatever. Anyway, do you have something to tell from your private life?

Natarle: Nothing at all, you dumb-(bleep).

(The audience groans.)

VM: Harsh stuff, idiot. Tell the truth this time.

Natarle: Okay, okay, I actually fell in love with someone.

Azreal: Is it with me?

Natarle: I'm not telling.

VM: Well, _somebody's_ keeping a secret from us.

(The audience, every single one, almost looks like one huge _hentai_ smile.)

VM: Uh…we'll have to cut this interview off-

**Kaboom**

(Everything is nothing but dust.)

- Please Stand By – Maintenance on-going –

**Ouch…the interview of death just got cut short. Next will be the Druggies, as requested by Jinxie. See you there.**


	7. The Druggies: New Victims of the Weird

**Yippee, Druggies interview has arrived. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, darn it.**

VM: Welcome back to the show.

(Clotho, Orga and Shani come in on cue.)

Orga: Is Jinxie watching? I think she is.

(Shani hits Orga at the head.)

Shani: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SHE IS, YOU DUMB-(BLEEP)!

Male audience: Did you say Jinxie?

Orga: Yeah, I did. What, do you want to flirt around with her or something?

(The male audience runs out of the studio in fear of Orga's wrath.)

VM: Nice going, Sabnak. You scared the ratings on this show away.

Orga: Blah, blah, blah. You're such a freaking nag, Vengeful Moon.

VM: Whatever.

Shani: Everyone knows you like Jinxie Kusanagi.

(Orga feels heat rushing to his face as the remaining female audience gasps in shock.)

VM: I'm just plain shocked. Really, I am.

Testament: Oh, shut the hell up, Andras.

(The remaining audience gasps…again.)

VM: Testament, why the hell are you here?

Testament: Because it's time to _shut_ this place down for good.

VM: You ain't the boss of me!

Testament: Whatever, dumb-

(Vengeful Moon turns Testament into a tub of meat.)

(Everyone stares at the huge meat pile in shock.)

VM: I'm the author of this story and you're all going to face my wrath!

Clotho: Shut your silly-

(Clotho is turned into a chicken thanks to Vengeful Moon.)

VM: Shut _your_ silly (BLEEP).

Shani: I'm scared. 

(Shani runs out of the studio.)

VM: Ah, well. See you all later!

**Well, that was…weird.**

**Shani: Yeah, you made it that way!**

**Athrun: Others might think otherwise of it.**

**Angelo: Who cares now that Vengeful Moon has scared everyone off?**

**(Gets pissed off) What are you, a jackass? Ah, forget it. See you at the Rau Le Creuset Interview.**


	8. Rau does the impossible for maniacs

**Rau's going to kill me for being late…**

**And to Jinxie, I hope you have a few others that you want to see interviewed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

VM: I'm late! I'm late! I'm (bleep)-ing late!

(Vengeful Moon runs through the studio.)

- Where were you, you dumb-(bleep)? –

VM: Nowhere of importance!

(The show begins.)

VM: Sorry for the delay, but welcome back.

(Rau walks onto the stage.)

VM: Le Creuset.

Rau: Vengeful Moon.

VM: Anything from the personal files?

Rau: Nothing at all.

Audience: You're lying.

Rau: Fine. I fell for someone.

VM: And who would that be?

Rau: That sister of Testament's.

VM: Well, that's unexpected…

Rau: Everything is unexpected in here.

(The audience laughs.)

Testament: Stay away from Lumiere, Creuset!

Rau: You're not the boss of-

(Rau gets turned into a fish thanks to Testament.)

(Testament gets turned into a duck thanks to Vengeful Moon.)

VM: Um…I'll see you all later.

**Next interview is the Stellar, Sting and Auel interview. And after that, Stellar will be making, straight off the bat, a second appearance in here…with Shinn, of course.**


	9. Encounter with insanity

**Yippee, late submission.**

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, SO DON'T SUE ME.**

VM: Welcome to the show, yet again.

(Stellar, Sting and Auel come onto the stage only to get raided by pitchforks and bombs from the audience.)

Audience: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!

**Kaboom**

-- Please stand by. --

VM: Welcome back to the show.

(Stellar, Sting and Auel come onto the stage again.)

Stellar: Hi there, Vengeful Moon.

VM: Good day to you, Stellar. How's it going, you three?

Auel: We're fine, but this idiot…

(Auel points at Sting.)

Auel: …decided to take a wrong turn at the second intersection.

Sting: It wasn't my fault, Auel, you were the one with the map!

Stellar: Stop it, you two.

(Auel and Sting stop beating the crap out of each other.)

VM: Obviously someone's become the more dominant one of those two boys over there.

(Vengeful Moon and the audience laugh.)

VM: Anyway, do you two have anything from your private lives?

Stellar: Nothing much.

Auel: I think I like Jinxie Kusanagi.

Sting: You dumb-(bleep), she belongs to Orga.

Testament: So bug off, Neider.

Angelo: Yeah, bug off!

VM: This was unexpected.

Audience: We agree.

(Sting, Testament, Auel and Angelo get in a huge fight cloud of doom.)

Stellar: STOP FIGHTING OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FREAKING HEADS OFF!

(The four stop beating the (bleep) out of each other.)

Stellar: Anyway, I still have the feelings for Shinn.

(The male audience has a hentai smile on their faces but they're shooed off by none other than Shinn Asuka.)

Shinn: NO ONE PERVS ON STELLAR, YOU HEAR ME?

VM: Everyone OUT OF MY STUDIO! I'M GETTING STRESSED RIGHT NOW!

(Every guest for the interview runs away.)

**I might continue this, but I'm not sure. R&R, and I'll see you later.**


	10. Shinn and Stellar Asuka: Idiot Pummeling

**NEXT! The Shinn and Stellar Asuka interview!**

(Tonight, Tonight, Tonight by Beat Crusaders plays in the background.)

VM: Welcome back to the show.

(Shinn and Stellar walk onto the stage.)

Shinn: Hey, Vengeful Moon.

VM: How's it going, Asuka?

Shinn: Just fine.

Stellar: Same here.

VM: Any news of a child coming?

Stellar: Not quite.

Shinn: We haven't gone THAT far, yet.

VM: Really, now?

Shinn: Yep.

Stellar: I don't want to do that just yet…

VM: The damn news is false, yet again.

(The audience laughs at Vengeful Moon's cursing.)

Testament: That would be my fault.

VM: Testament?

Shinn: Dumb-(bleep) from hell!

Stellar: GET HIM!

(Everyone pummels the (bleep) out of Testament.)

VM: And that's a wrap.

(Everyone laughs.)

**Good day, mates, and R&R. See you at the Yzak Joule and Shiho Hahnenfuss interview.**


	11. Yzak and Shiho: Shredded XP

**Damn, late submission for the interviews. YzakShiho incoming! And I'll be using LN's nickname for Yzak in this story. She's also the special guest. XD The word "ass" will no longer be censored.  
**

VM: Welcome back to the show. The damn writers took a long break, so we're stuck in my home for a while. Anyway, the guests for the night are Yzak "Yzzie-chan" Joule and Shiho Hahnenfuss.

(Yzak and Shiho walk onto the stage.)

Yzak: Don't call me Yzzie-chan!

VM: Anyway, how are you two today?

Yzak: Not very fine, seeing as Shiho's been bugging my brain out for the last few (bleep)ing weeks.

Shiho: You're a freaking idiot.

Yzak: Am not!

VM: Definitely not good. Strained relations?

Yzak: Yep.

Shiho: Frigging ass.

Yzak: Stupid.

Shiho: M(bleep)e.

Yzak: S(bleep)t.

Shiho: Son of a (bleep)!

VM: Stop the verbal abuse!

Shiho and Yzak: And why should we!?

VM: Because I'm not in the mood for this stupidity right now!

(Vengeful Moon causes some volcanoes to erupt.)

Shiho and Yzak: We're scared...

(The two run away.)

Angelo: That was stupid...

VM: Agreed.

**My stupid brain's being a real pain in the ass, so I won't be putting any more updates for this story until I get my brain recalibrated. Later.**


	12. Mu and Murrue: Straight off the bat

**Here's one interview request that I really never got to due to my brain. Oh well. Story contains mentions of OCs that don't belong to me.**

**Note to TSA: Again, I had to change it to "Marie" to avoid the (bleep)ing spellchecker.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the OCs that I, Vengeful Moon, made. (Testament, Angelo, etc.)**

(Message in a Bottle by The Police plays in the background)

Vengeful Moon: Hello there. Welcome back to "Giving Interviews to the SEED Cast."

(Crashing noises can be heard from backstage.)

Vengeful Moon: What the hell?

(Mu flies out of the backstage entrance with a steaming Murrue following him.)

Murrue: YOU FORGOT EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, YOU ASSHOLE! I CRIED MY HEAD OFF WHEN YOU WERE "KILLED" BY THE LOHENGRIN BLAST, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO? GO AND GET A NEW LIFE WITHOUT ANY FORM OF MEMORY OF WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?

Vengeful Moon: Murrue, CALM DOWN! IT WASN'T HIS FAULT! GEEZ!

(Murrue shrinks away in fear.)

Vengeful Moon: Anyway, there're our guests, Murrue Ramius and Mu La Flaga.

Audience: Couples fight a lot, don't they?

Vengeful Moon: Yeah, a little too much in my honest opinion.

(Murrue and Mu walk over and sit on the couch.)

Vengeful Moon: Saying your names right after each other tends to be rather confusing to me.

Both: Why's that?

Vengeful Moon: Think 'bout it for a second.

Both: Oh, the first two letters.

Vengeful Moon: Mm-hmm. Anyway, how's it been, you two?

Murrue: A little rough on returning to our relationship, but it turned out great.

Mu: Kira messed up on being the ringbearer, though. He ended up tripping a few times.

Vengeful Moon: I can see that. I was there, wasn't I? I even recorded the event.

(Vengeful Moon brings down a monitor, puts a tape in and shows the moments that Kira tripped on the carpet.)

Murrue: Those idiots forgot to smoothen out the carpeting. (Sigh)

Mu: It was a good laugh though, wasn't it?

Murrue: Sure was.

Vengeful Moon: Some people just don't have a good enough memory.

Mu: You could say that again.

Vengeful Moon: Anyway, is there some news you'd like to share?

Murrue: Just that I'm going to have another child.

Vengeful Moon: Oh boy, I can see where this is going.

Mu: Huh?

Vengeful Moon: Your other one's having a rather hard time right now.

Audience: Oh yeah, Nina Marie La Flaga. How is she?

Murrue: She said she was doing fine and that she was with Prayer, didn't she?

Vengeful Moon: Oh.

Mu: They better not have done "that".

Vengeful Moon: Unfortunately they HAVE.

Athrun and Cagalli, who happen to be sitting in the audience: WHAT!?

Mu and Murrue: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY!?

Vengeful Moon: Exactly what I meant. Sorry.

Athrun and Cagalli: Geez, why didn't you tell us, you dimwit?

Vengeful Moon: They made me keep it a secret.

Mu: Aren't they married already?

Vengeful Moon: Whoopee, my brain is dead.

(Everyone laughs.)

Vengeful Moon: That's about it for this edition.

Everyone on the stage: See you later!

**Finally. Next one is part two of the Interview of Death. Oh crud.**


End file.
